ashviy-life-Me

2011-12-13T03:27:00.000+08:00

Late in the night, here am I blogging about something which I have no topic to talk about. Yes, the reason I am still awake at this hour is because I am on annual leave which I have to clear it if not, it will be burned.

Somehow today, after the trip from Singapore, I felt alone. While during the flight, seating there beside the window of the airplane, thinking of the things that I could have done better through out the year was just basically sad. Around this time of the year, I would reflect back on the things all along the year and see if there is room for improvement. Which there is by the way. Not to say I tend to let the past hunt me back from now and then due to the emotions that I go through a day which sometimes somehow makes me a stronger people.

I am seeing a brighter side of life. There are ups and downs. New friends, new colleagues, new music, new happenings is always all around. I see the life in Singapore was just to boring for me. Overly systematic, efficiently good, and a strict government would make things predictable. I don't plan. I don't like things to be so predictable. I like it to be wild. Free like a bird. No directions but to fly. Keeping oneself on track like this is crucial. It suits my character. My attitude is just crazily big in terms of sounds and wonders.

Others would find satisfaction in life, I don't! 3 things that kept me going all these while is love, faith, & hope. Nothing beats these than having a satisfied feeling of doing something good/wrong.

What matters right now, being competitive in life wouldn't get you far in life. Life isn't what you can achieve nor expecting it. Life is about love that brings life in competing the very best talents/skills you have to grow. Being in the sales line, it is a blessing to see things in another perspective. Minority rocks the boat, remember that!

I am truly grateful and thankful for 2011. Life changing? Maybe. But it has certainly put it a way that there's more than is to life. Have I been living in the eyes of God that would glorify His Name? That is for me to ponder for the rest of my life.

2011-11-30T23:28:00.001+08:00

Hey, I know it has been awhile since I really last blogged about an update. Basically, I've just recovered from a 5 days of continuous of diarrhea. No kidding! I've lost some weight which right now I look more skinnier with more bones. Appetite hasn't been at its usual pace but I will soon. I need to put on some weight, not on my tummy of course la. Haha.

Thoughts on my career is always on the go. Never have I been thinking of it since I'm now fully independent on my own. It would be easier if I had a degree holder certificate though but too bad, I don't. Oh well, life has to go on.

Seeing what's left right now, I think there are always opportunities that will come and go. I need to be at the right place at the right time. Some might ask do I have a girlfriend yet, my answer is no. Yes, it would be nice if I were to be in a relationship. But there are some priorities which I need to focus on which is to firm up the solid foundation of my career.

Not easy I know, I know I have to work hard, smart and diligent. These are the words my dad always reminds me whenever I'm home.

New place to move in and a new office keeps me excited for now. New year is coming, so do Christmas. Can't wait to really feast on mom's cooking. And a solo trip down to Singapore in less than a week. Things are just amazing, aren't they?

I have been taking some time thinking or reflecting what the year has done/gone to me. Lots of things that has happened, said & done. I am truly grateful and thankful.I may be slow but I am certainly not stupid. My patiences is growing steadily over the year. I don't feel the need to be angry at anyone or anything. Such calmness and peace wit God's love.

As for now, a better change of me. I know it is all worth it. :)

2011-07-27T00:03:00.002+08:00

Just a very short update here. I am actually doing fine. I believe regardless of good times or bad times, it is all temporary.

Fun, good laughter and most of the time an average day at the office. Nevertheless, I've learned plenty.

There's a couple of things on my mind currently. Honestly, I have no idea how to deal/think about it.

To cut short to the point, all things are possible through God.

That is all for now, peeps! Good night!

2011-06-17T23:59:00.002+08:00

Drained. Exhausted. Tired. Worn out. Juiced.

That was what I felt the entire day. I fought through hard and well to the performance of my job today. Fairly, I was very disappointed in myself. I knew I could have actually done better but all of that has now gone by. Time for me to reflect what was wrong and not to make the same performance worse.

Make one thousand of mistakes said by one of my managers. I've made one today. I know I'll be making more. That way I know I can grow even better.

Too many thoughts has been overshadowing my mind. Never have I got this many thoughts in one go. And, there was once where I had none at all. Pretty scary but made it through though.

Seeing I know how hard earning a living is, I know I have to continue to persevere. To be honest, sometimes I have no clues on how to start my day. Like literally don't know at all. I've always let God take the wheel of my car. Driving me everyday so that I can find the direction and work on it.

Single life is fun. Being alone, having so much time for yourself is good. Hanging out with friends is also good. But I don't feel lonely. Because I know I have a God who is with me all the time. :)

As I try to get some rest tonight, I know I have to wake up the next day to be thankful to be alive and well. That is how I see life as it now.

For now, have a good weekend peeps! Till then..

2011-04-30T05:40:00.003+08:00

Here am I writing this post at 5.45am according to my handphone clock. I think I wouldn't be sleeping tonight. Not too sure whether my insomnia is back but I just can't sleep at the moment. Chatting and listening to this particular song while blogging about what am I going to do now.

If I do sleep, I think I wouldn't be sleeping long either. Need to get back to hometown in the day. Will be spending some time with family and close friends.

So far, my job is full of surprises. I'll be honest, I've started to curse again. I don't usually curse unless if I'm super duper pissed which in these days I can hardly be piss at anyone or anything. It's been so neutral the past year or so. The job doesn't require much physical movement but more on the brain juice squashing. Don't get me started on the job. Hilarious and fun at some times, frustrating and crazy at most time. Heh, it is a job.

My friends described me as more crazier than ever. =.= I don't really know how to digest that. Like seriously, in what way or what terms? I guess they know what had I went through was difficult and painful. By tweeting about it, they'd definitely know what is wrong with me. That is how good they are. Good ol buddies, I'll treasure you guys to the max!

I was so tempted to say this, "Nothing is so new to me anymore!". Come and think about it, everything is already old. There's always something new that will happen somewhere and somehow without wanting it to happen.

Earlier I was viewing this video by WongFu Production - Strangers, again. The way I see it, it goes beyond strangers. As if I cannot recognize the person whom have I dated a couple years ago. Due to the most unexpected circumstances, that is how I would put it in that way. Beyond strangers - last.

Well, I know I will not be right for her. That's all.

Have a good long weekend ahead! :)

2011-04-23T02:02:00.002+08:00

New adventure. New challenge. New chapter. Progress? On-going. The best of part of having new things is you'll never know when will you be getting a new one.

Finally, I'm working now. It's a good thing but not so good thing when you don't get any 'decisions' for the day. That suck though if you do know what I'm talking about.

I have a few short term goals that I want to achieve. Hardworking and perseverance is all I need.

Most importantly, I need to get my focus. Concentration is vital for this stage. I see myself as someone managing someone in the future. Big huh? Yes, consistency and effort is required.

Told myself that I will do fine by not seeing anyone at the moment. Not against any person but I want to stay single for awhile. Although I see pretty ladies everywhere I go and happy couples dating, I need to resist it. Tough but possible. Well..

Anyway, have a good weekend ahead. And happy Easter! :)

2011-03-30T02:16:00.002+08:00

Today or rather yesterday was a rough (little) / surprising day. I've got some good news which I'll share it later but anyhow, I now got to have to prepare myself for what's going to happen in the next few days.

As for now, I have to pack some clothes and get ready for an adventure that might or will open up a new chapter in my life. It is pretty exciting to do some real work for now and this is what I've been preparing myself for for the last one year or so.

No doubt it will be hard. Nothing is easy in life. But I'm sure, I can do it.

As always, I'll bring some fun into it. Not putting expectations too high and keeping a open heart for disappointments too. That's life and that's how I see life as we live our lives with faith, hope and love.

Anyway, I've been looping this song: I'd hate to be you when people find out what this song is about by Mayday Parade. It reminded me of my decision to let certain things go and let it go permanently.

2nd verse:
I could only sing you sad songs and you could sing along
And you could see the melody
That's been calling out your wrongs
And this never will be right with me
And now you're trying to desperately
But I'm tongue-tied and terrified of what I'll say

Been through that and told myself that it was okay. Stopping it and never will I be looking back on that matter.

Here once again, have a wonderful weekend ahead. Cheers!

2011-03-27T17:09:00.002+08:00

I thought I do still believe in second chances. Although nothing seems to be a second chance to me from what I'm looking at. It is not like I'm looking it wrongly and expecting second chances to happen, I don't get those either. What I do believe in you got to make your own second chance (not desperately la, of course) even if there's a slimmest of chance you wouldn't be getting one.

I got what I needed after I've decided to make my second chances. Of course, it was pretty ugly though. Not to say, it's kind of like "Nah, in your face!!". Eventually, I've paid the price of doing what I did.

That being said, I think sometimes you got to do something where risking it all (like playing poker, all in!) is the only thing you can do. Hoping that you did make a good decision.

I've been known to take gambles to the limit. Nothing new to me though. It is like forcing a way to happen where you know it will somehow happen. More like having a man-make-flood than a natural flooding. You'll get what I mean sooner or later or maybe none of it. Haha!

I'm taking a risk my sending out my CV companies. Still, I got nothing to lose. :)

In times like these, hope is what all I can do. As simple as that, I'm sure I'll get it through.

Have a good week ahead, ya'll!! Cheers!

2011-03-25T01:03:00.004+08:00

My 23rd birthday wasn't the greatest. I'm sure it was awesome! Let me show you some wishes from friends. : )

She always calls me that. I just don't know why and she likes it very much!

My elder sister. Love ya!

Monica, as simple as you are. Claire, she never seems to surprise me. :p

Brother's gf Danielle, got some love from her too. lol! And Krystal, I miss hanging with you!

My brother.. I didn't see the post up until now. :) :) Will treasure it!

And the usual suspect, my bestie! She just came back from Sg. The wish was late but I didn't care, it was the thought that matters. :) Miss you too! I need my bakuteh, please!

And to those many wishes on Facebook and on Twitter, thank you!

Here are my thoughts: 23 is a number according to Elaine. And I get to live 23 once in my life. Definitely I'm gonna live it to the fullest. That's how I'll see it till the next birthday.

On the same note, I'm expecting a post-after-party in a few days time. More like a big celebration.

As for now, I'm a happy boy! Good night and have a good weekend ahead!

2011-03-23T21:42:00.003+08:00

Since there has been request from Miss Monica a.k.a Turn-u-Off to blog on Nyonya/Baba food, I have some pictures to post from what I've personally taken . I only got a few. Like a few, I mean.

The usual ice cold cendol.
Fried Sotong
Sambal petai.

Like I said, only these few pictures. :) :)

2011-03-21T02:18:00.003+08:00

I know I've been quite emotional the past whole week although it was a interesting week. There were definitely the ups and the downs which makes everything more fun to deal with it.

The weekend was good. Spent some good quality with the family. Sunday was definitely long and awesome. I did enjoyed myself letting loose for a little while. Though, everything might have been seen as normal, but the inside of me was always screaming, yelling, honing, sounding..

I'm getting things done day by day. I need to step up. I can't afford to waste any time longer. Job hunt is definitely taking is long sweet time and I shall prevail. :)

After all, I got nothing to lose by trying. :D

I also need to get started on planning. I would and always like about impromptu plans/trips. That way it will make life worth more living for. Of course, planning ahead wouldn't hurt. I shall proceed on planning then.

That's it for now. Good night peeps and have a boastful week ahead. :)

2011-03-14T02:46:00.002+08:00

Just celebrated his cute fella's birthday. Officially a 2 year old and a smart one. Time flies, it does. Really! Seeing him from a baby growing up to be a toddler and now, it is a privilege to be your uncle. :)

JMaine rocks!! Woots..

Anyway, it was a fairly good weekend. I don't think I did anything in particular. LOL! :) :)

Have a good week ahead. Cheers!

2011-03-01T02:39:00.002+08:00

I know that point of time everything was heading to a disaster. I came out bruised and wounded but it will be remembered as a hard-bad-learned-lesson.

I do look cool in skinnys, huh? *perasans*

Everything is different now. The pain is still there. If I ever wanna feel it, down to emo lane I'll be.

Looking forward is what I'll be looking forward. Never easy. Never will. Perseverance is what I need for the next crucial step. And a life changing one. :)

I'm letting you go now.

2011-02-28T02:25:00.002+08:00

I used to be able to wait for something for hours or even a person. I don't have that anymore. I'll get restless and agitated easily but yet I can keep a cool calm head.

I guess and I feel like a different person now. I don't go back to whom I was the last time. Usually, people would go back to their same self after a break up and that wasn't my case. I was determine to make a change. Drop whatever I was back then and look for something new. A new character, a new attitude & and a new being.

I've noticed I'm able to tolerate more now than I was. This is something totally the opposite. Don't know whether will it do good to me. *fingers crossed*

For now, its all for the good. Cheers. Have a good week! :)

2011-02-26T02:47:00.002+08:00

I've been practicing on my guitar skills for the last two weeks or so. (Kinda very lazy actually, haha!) More like upgrading it. Don't mind the half-naked of me with my long hair back then. :)

In that picture, after a long Saturday fun outing and getting that guitar. I was playing it immediately after a long good rest on Sunday afternoon. I still remembered the feeling of first using it and it just sounds perfectly clear and sharp. And my serious face while playing. Lol. :D

Anyhow, I'm more towards open/custom tunings. Playing and experimenting requires loads of patience, skills and knowledge. I find it all weird but its all good in the end. Though I have this tendency to play in lower/fuller keys. Just love the tones coming out from it. :D

I feel I've been growing the past year or so by playing week in and out. Learning new songs, new leads & new understanding on how to always get myself to play better. I love playing a guitar. Its like I was born having this talent to fully use it and to enjoy it as well.

These are the days.. One day I'll look back someday and say, "Hey, I'm glad to have this talent!" Thank you!

The weekend is here. Time to plug some strings away. :D Have a good weekend peeps.

2011-02-12T03:22:00.002+08:00

What's more weird is when people disappear, they'll be gone in minutes. It's like breaking a trust which at first gains easily but to regain that believe to trust is gonna take forever to be establish.

Always see things in different aspects of spectrum. Don't judge too quick. Learn to listen. And to me, I'll always give the benefit of the doubts when even I can't trust. There's always a two side of a story, remember? :)

Anyways, I'll be spending Vday with a bunch of people fishing/bbq/hang out on coming Monday. Can't wait. That is more than what I'm asking. Lovely!

Have a good weekend, peeps! Spread some love. :D

2011-02-02T02:59:00.003+08:00

Eve of the Chinese New Year, I should be getting excited right? Nah, having none of those excitement just yet. Well, just the other day a friend's dad asked me am I ready for CNY. I told him I don't have the mood or should I say lost of mood to celebrate this CNY. I still remember the last CNY. It wasn't very pretty. That was last year. So, how about this year? I have no idea. Like, literally no clue of how to celebrate. I haven't even shop for new clothes though there's still time to do so.

I know bestie has been avoiding me since she came back. Ish, I thought I could have my bakuteh lunch of these cold few days. Brother should be back tomorrow. Left elder sister who will be coming back on the 2nd day of CNY due to some work complication. Stupid boss, that was what my mom said. Haha!

And don't ask me why if I do seem to be bored and boring during CNY. I'll say "I don't know." too. :p It feels weird with the weather messing up the roads with floods everywhere. I hardly see Mr.Sun now. I don't feel like visiting houses also. I just don't know why. It's like I know something out of the blue will happen. I have this odd sense of feeling that things might just spring out of nowhere. Oh well, it is just me.

As for now, I think I want to sleep it off. My thoughts is getting the better of me. Good idea. Have a good CNY. : )

2011-01-15T03:04:00.002+08:00

As for the past few weeks since new year, I've noticed that some changes has been changed. I knew I got to step up and I did. Not to be proud of what I've done so far, I'm worried that I would stop stepping up. I feel like there's so much time to do so many things with all the errands or the-do-list in this short space of time. Given I had some head start to it but it didn't seems to struck me. And then it did.

I keep telling myself these days that "mature with age! mature with age!" What that means is if you're 23, act like one. Don't be a 28 year old when you're in age 23. That is why we celebrate birthday for each growing older 1 year.

But then my life long motto 'live life to the fullest.' With the fullness of joy and love, life should be good. And then again, that's what I think. :)

I know there's some responsibilities I need to carry on me whether is it from my family or church or even friends I know I can do it. Take it as you guys can count on me. Failure is avoidable and an option to fail in some circumstances is needed.

That is life right now. Not too bad nor too good. It is this time I feel God is molding me, shaping me to be use in the times to come. I believe it will be.

Anyway, have a good weekend. Enjoy! :D

2011-01-10T17:01:00.002+08:00

Hey all, been MIA from blogging for a little while. Hoping I could start writing again. Anyway, NY was good. A little disappointing but it turned out to be great. Had fun. So did Christmas. Everyone was back.

As for now, I am looking forward for the things ahead of me. Always expect the unexpected. Though I still talk to myself like everyday, some things will stay the same. And some things wouldn't.

2010 was good. Managed to catch up with long lost friends, met new ones and kept the old friends close. New ones became close buddies. Didn't know that I actually have one bestie. Haha!

Good times and hard times were 2010 was. I know 2011 will be a good year.

As I'll try to keep this post short, have a great year ahead. And God bless. :)

2010-12-03T00:22:00.002+08:00

The thought of the new year coming, the fresh start to a brand new year, the fun and worse of the new year it will be a good one. Awesome as I will declare it. Whoa!

Now it comes down to the memory lane of the year. I wonder what have I achieve over the pass soon to be 12 months. There was some harsh moments, not so good times and also the super fun outings although it's getting less due to some reasons.

Nevertheless, some may think I was only wasting my time doing nothing. If you have had thought of that, think again. Things may seem comfortable right now, I bet and I'm sure that soon I'll be rocking out my comfort zone.

All I need was time to play things out. Stupid, uh? Haha! Well, I can only control certain limits of my life and the rest will be down to God's plans.

I've learn good lessons of life. Good friends that were there and still is. Family that supported me though I may have frustrated them at most times. I'm grateful.

I am thankful for the hard periods where I wish I could escape from reality. None of it has stopped me from doing the favorite things I like. New friends that came along over the year. Reunited some of the old friendships. Super-duper-uber long drives on the highway that kept the spirits up. The same ol passion of strumming a guitar. Awesome food cravings and hunts. Funny I remember those pretty moments. I love them.

Last not the least, God was very faithful. :) :)

2010-11-21T21:11:00.000+08:00

I SUPPORT [TCMAINE]

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2010-11-04T01:46:00.002+08:00

I actually wish we had the like on-going-chit-chat-talks like some people I know who is having it right now. And yes, I am jealous.

As for now, I have no idea of what to do with some/this friendship. Not talking is one thing but then if we talk, what topic it is appropriate for that conversation be? And again, I'm clueless about it also.

Hmmm...

Anyway, the weekend is coming. I think it will be fun. I hope it will. I need to get some things off my mind. I need distractions.

I think that's for it for this post. I got nothing else to write. :p

Have fun.. And smile.. :)

2010-10-29T02:45:00.002+08:00

I wonder and I kept wandering about the opportunities that comes into my life without having to know there's an open door. Some things are impossible right now for me but, there's always a but, I want to turn those and these to be POSSIBLE.

Although, I feel sometimes I punish myself for no apparent reasons. I feel better that way. It's funny and stupid at the same time but it seems to be the only way I find myself in enjoyment. Seriously, I don't know how long am I going to be this way. And I loses faith easily these days. That is just not me.

Picking myself up again is what I can do for now. Gaining respect is a tough job but yet it is doable. For starters, I need to respect myself. As simple as that, it will be a hard and rough part to go through in which I have to.

The choices I made so far hasn't been great. I'm quite okay with the current outcome for now. Not to say that learning to be calm isn't easy. Double my patience and I'll be a super cool person. :)

All I have is myself. I have lost someone before and I am not going to let it happen again. This time experience and wisdom will come into place. I just hope I do know what am I doing. *fingers crossed*

Have a good weekend ahead. Good night.

2010-10-22T03:01:00.002+08:00

I remembered what is it like to be left to wait or to be left not knowing on how to let go or even being stupid for thinking that I might win her heart back.

Those feelings came out of nowhere and I felt a little moody. Nevertheless, I told myself to get out of it and I did.

Playing along with mind games ain't going to work for me. For now, I want to be myself. I would want to make some changes for my own good. Not too sure whether I could handle a relationship right now. But yeah, it is something that I have to prepare myself in order to handle bigger things in the future.

Out of the many months of being a single guy again was good for me. I feel fine. I feel normal. I feel okay. Happiness it is something I want to find. And I am happy to be where I am today.

As for the days to come, I'm sure I'll have some fun. :) :)

And have a good weekend. Cheers!

2010-10-15T03:19:00.002+08:00

Hmmm, would you be desperate enough to get yourself in trouble for something you eager to know so bad that you wouldn't mind suffering the outcome afterward? I did the last time. It did not turned out well. I found out that others would actually do the same thing too. At least I know I'm not alone doing it. I mean, the last time.

Last weekend was awesomely fun. Although I was pretty darn tired, anyhow it was a trip to be remember always. :) Hoping for another one this weekend. Not sure what's exactly but I'm sure it may be cool as well.

I find someone is getting weirder. It was the first she called me that. Yeah, I know. I'm an idiot. =.=

Mind games is dangerous from what I see. I have been wanting to do that but yeah, there's always a but, but, somehow I want to see how things would really play out without having mind games. Difficult, I know and it is possible. I guess I'd go without the mind games. Too old to play that now. And it can be obvious to be seen which I don't need that anyway.

Anyways, signing off now. :) :)

2010-10-01T04:00:00.002+08:00

New month with 30 days to see it through. Ups and downs are not visible yet. But I'm pretty sure that's what I will be going through.

Death came into my thoughts lately. I wonder if what if I die on a young age. What will be the surroundings be? Like for instead, my family. Then my close friends. Neighbors, relatives, church members, old buddies and etc. I did not mention ex-partners for a reason. It is because its either I'm not good enough for her or she is not good enough for me. So yeah, I left it out.

How and what will be affecting their lives after the burial? I can't really imagine what difference will it make when I'm not around anymore. Will I still be like a angel-spy on earth? Or will I like be forever in heaven?

I'm not saying I want to die to experience that. It it just a thought. I do still want to live as long as possible. Enough said already.

Silent may be the best weapon but the relationship between Arielle and I are getting quieter. That's odd. Weirdness is what I want to get rid off. I missed the non-sense chats. Haha!

On the other note, my nephew decided to wake up in the middle of the night. I told him to keep his voice down. Told him that his grandparents are still asleep and so do the neighbors. Surprisingly it worked! He kept his silence. That's a first. LOL.

One way or the other, I got to paint my room ceiling again. Which means I need to sleep now to get up a little early to finish my task. Good night and have a joyful weekend. :)

2010-09-28T02:30:00.002+08:00

You certainly have had me smiling for the awesome picture on your display. It was so good. It was a good phone call to wish you. I'm sorry if I talk softly during the conversation. I was sorta like talking to two persons at once. :)

Just a few hours earlier, I was reading on hospitality from some verses of the bible. It came so strong and I felt if there was something I could make things right again I would seriously do that. Seeing the circumstances today, I don't think you'd want to trust me again what more if I want to patch things up with you and your family. I certainly had put some pain for them because of my wrong doings and whether or not will I have the second chance that just purely down to you guys.

Although I dislike waiting for people giving chances for the mistakes I've done it is just plain wasting of my time. Yeah, to be honest I would rather find a chance for myself than letting you guys do the final invite.

The reality of life bites when you're least expected of it. Like a couple of hours ago, I believe it was the Holy Spirit that guided me to read that passage. And I just realized that I've been hiding too long since the break up. Though I kept a low profile till I am so comfortable at it and I don't feel like un-low myself again.

I do know what I want to do in life. I do know what are the mistakes I shouldn't be making again. And I do know what are things that can cause you to be so blinded and yet deny it later because you want to save face. I'm pretty sure hardship will be the one wise stuffs helping you out in time.

I wonder and I went wandering even now I just feel and still believe God is in charge of everything. I don't mind the waiting but I need some hints/clues for me to not get frustrated over waiting for a such long period, that would just suck.

One of the lyrics from Creed - Hide, there is no reason to hide. I wish I hadn't been hiding, that's all. I may not agree on the outcome that came and nearly bite my head off but I still feel it may or just maybe the right decision for me to lay low. Whatever I'm doubting next, I hope that one day it will come to pass. That talk may mean tons of meanings for both of us. Let's have faith in believing it will.

For the time being, I'll be still me. I do not want to break or change things around again. Maybe a thing or two. Other than that, I'll be waiting. :)

2010-09-26T03:26:00.002+08:00

I tend to listen noisy songs everyday and I don't know why. It could be a habit but it is just what I like to listen everyday. I do wonder ever if I would change the taste of songs I listen to. Oh well, once in a while instrument songs can be soothing to calm my weird thoughts. :)

So, yeah. Listening to one as I write.

Pretty much had a good day if I can put it that way. Although, I woke up late but still I had to start getting things done. Pheww~~ Luckily enough, the traffic did not get into my nerves. Or else, I'll be some mad driver cutting lanes and cars if only I had to. If not, I don't usually drive like that. Doing that wouldn't help but to see your fuel consumption going high.

I have this feeling that I'll bum into someone in particular within these two weeks to come. I don't really know why I felt this but you know it comes, it will be certainly in way that you wouldn't be surprise. Sigh~

Self-talking can be fun. Whee~

Alright, mom's birthday is today. I totally forgot to wish her before she went to bed. I guess I'll do that when she's awake later. :)

I do know the things I'm doing right now are a big concern to my closest family and friends. I know you guys are worried. Just to be sure, I'm doing some things for myself. I hope you guys can understand that. Love you all!!

Good night from me then. Cheers!

2010-09-24T04:25:00.002+08:00

I feel I may be asking too much of myself. I can get so over-whelm over some matters. I think I'm a geek again. LOL!!

Oh well, I thought today was still Wednesday. Didn't realize that it is already Friday. I get lost of time sometimes. Too many things at one go. No advisable though. :)

Facebook is down. Resorted to twitter instead. There are still people queuing up for the Iphone 4. I don't think I'll wait this long for a phone. =.=

It's late by the way. Have a good weekend. :)

Cheers!

2010-09-19T03:58:00.003+08:00

I just spent the last one hour on reading the chat log that I chatted with a friend. It caught me thinking that both of us talk non-sense the entire time. And still she says we had some meaningful conversations. Since when wor? Oh well, I can hardly remember what we chat.

And damn, the feeling of missing someone that I thought I wouldn't miss it just happened. I missed her. Weird, I know. But yeah, I hope this doesn't get me thinking of getting into a relationship in which I am trying not to get into one.

I think I should get myself to bed. Thinking about the miss is something I haven't felt/do in awhile. Nights.

2010-09-17T02:59:00.002+08:00

It was a fun night. Hilarious as well. I wasn't really in the thinking mode though I had some really rough thoughts to begin with. I shall do that later.

Back to tonight, awesome as it is/was. Friends are for you to laugh with. Best buddies are the ones you stick with you when you're down and will see you through during your recovery. Thank God for my friends whom stay with the idiot and stupid things I do each day or the things that I've done, I'm truly grateful and thankful.

As days goes by, the more it goes away further from you, I think I may start to think about the almost right girl for me. Of course, like I told my friends, I plan to stay single for the time being. No rush, no commitment, just me and only me. Once in awhile, some dates would be fun.

I'll continue to let God to do the work if we ever meet again. But then again, let's see.

Right now, it is cool that I have plenty time for myself and also for my family and friends. And I have time for God as well. :)

If I could and can be just away for a holiday trip, that will be great. Traveling will be the part of me when I have the money to go places. I know good days are coming so do the bad ones. I will shall go through it and learn as much as possible. Ahh, I can do it!

I know suddenly I have this rush of motivation running through me. LOL! It is good to have that. Inspiring and stuffs like that ain't the usual me. All these are good and well. Love it.

Stopping here. Weekends are coming. Great, I guess. And yeah, enjoy yourselves.

2010-09-15T05:00:00.002+08:00

Talking about settling down is one thing. Busy with your work, studies, family and friends is what life is. I don't mean to be like an idiot trying to say that you better got to settle down quick before you don't feel any of the excitement of falling in love.

Absurdly, don't tell me you want to be single till you die. A super turn off for me.

Maybe I've been thinking too much over one particular thing. Can I please be myself again, Ashley?

I know I can be or will be a good friend. Defining good friend is I'm always be available for you almost every hour unless I'm sleeping like a pig. Or, I'll be a good listener/partner when needed.

I tend to piss people along the way. That's me. Just merely testing you based on my theory. But I don't take advantage of you being vulnerable.

Plus, the best part is when I have nothing to advise. I get those sometimes. Oh well..

It's late. I know I am talking crap. Good night!

2010-09-09T03:20:00.003+08:00

A special person deserves more than just love. Hardship and heartache are part of life. Just a simple wish for you, Happy birthday, Arielle! : )

2010-09-06T04:17:00.003+08:00

I was watching 'the Holiday'. I did meant something to me. What more on the day where it all came alive. Two years, if I may put it.

Somewhere and somehow? I know I'm talking crap.

Heartaches over the things I've done and the things I missed. I no longer feel the guilt. But why does it still hurts?

To put my emotions aside, I shall sleep soon.

Have a great week ahead.

2010-09-06T01:40:00.002+08:00

Postcards!!!! Should I DIY? If I were to buy it, where to get nice ones?

That sucks. I don't have the material to DIY.

I am thinking of alternative ways to surprise this person. *come on, brain! work!!*

Boo~

2010-09-03T03:37:00.002+08:00

There are couple of things running through this month. Two besties birthday is up and soon. I wonder, what would I want to get for them? And, few good news as well. Parking fee wouldn't be a problem la, don't tell me you're gonna dai again.

Other than that, the thoughts of some good memories that it was perfect back then. I'm cool with that now. It's not that something nice would be coming out from it. Smile, as I always say to some friends.

Plus mom's birthday at the end of the month.

Whatever decisions you've made, stick to it please. Regardless how long it will be. Don't ever stop, keep doing it. That's for you.

As for me, I have nothing to offer. Repairing the damage I've done it doesn't matter anymore. Not now, not back then, not even then then. I refused to see the dreams I dreamt. Stupid I know, unless it is God's plan. Then I can't stop it from happening.

Like you said, you're not good enough for me. I'll remember that. That's all.

Still need some songs to complete the list. What is it so hard to prepare songs? Argghh~

Anyway, have a good weekend ahead. Cheers!

2010-08-29T02:45:00.003+08:00

Caught in 3 minds? I mean myself. Like seriously?

Anyway, fun night. Rocked it! Awesomed it! Smiled it! Yeah~~

Tired, nevertheless, can I stay in Puri? Ahh~

Good night. And Happy Merdeka!

2010-08-24T02:38:00.002+08:00

Sleeping at 4am. Then woken up by 6am and another at 7.30am just might have made my day. After that, I was pretty much awake. =.=

Nevertheless, the power of nap is awesome! Two solid hours before heading down to class might have just brings everything into place. :)

That was how my day was. If I were to go through again, please remind me to sleep much much more early. I don't need to be zombie-driving to campus or wherever. Aiks! And I am not a morning entertainer.

Here we go again. WHoA!

Good night.

2010-08-20T01:31:00.002+08:00

I got nothing to blog. I know, I'm such a boring person.

Anyway, the past two days were satisfying and full. Yee Chien and I had satay celup, siham and bakuteh and a little walk around the Ramadan festival. Damn, I feel like I'm a pregnant woman. Craving for food. Not good. Need to control.

Oh well, she admitted she will be missing the supper-mates as what she calls it. Haha! Come on, I could still be meeting you up for lunch or dinner. Maybe not supper.

At least, you don't get bored. Ended up being her entertainment. =.=

The weather has been good. It rains when it rains. Please don't rain when I'm on the way to class. I'm that lazy to carry an umbrella along. Got caught half wet on Wednesday. Thought I could catch a fever but I'm still fine and healthy. Could be the bakuteh. Lol!

It is good so far for me. I need to remind myself to be thankful and grateful. I'm not kidding. I'm doing that everyday. So that I don't take things for granted again. :D

Alright, should stop. Have a nice weekend ahead.

2010-08-12T03:41:00.003+08:00

I'll just keep this post short. I could be making some massive decisions in my life that could affect some circumstances. I am not going to say what it is because I am still in the mist of deciding.

Anyways, I really need just one more song to complete the song list. What is this so hard? Sigh~

So yeah, have a good night.

2010-08-07T02:11:00.002+08:00

The blower's daughter - Damien Rice. The acoustic of that song it is just amazing. Blows me away, at least to me. Haha!

-No love, no glory.- Big statement. Caught me thinking so deep till I just couldn't think anymore.

Anyway, have a good weekend ahead. :D

2010-08-03T20:13:00.004+08:00

It was a fun Monday, if I could put it that way. Allan and I took our sweet time to reach a friend's convocation. But our timing was good. Just in time for photo session.

I mean, the weather wasn't that hot. I thought I would get sun burns but I didn't. Oh well, I ended up being a bag carrier, a flower carrier and a photographer, not to forget a drink buyer. =.=

Bummed into a couple of friends. It was okay. They could still recognize me with my hair this long. LOL!

It was a pretty good day out. Despite, having had a late lunch at Full House with those two it couldn't get better. Although, it was fairly a good way to see myself in the future if I could graduate.

Nice experience. This post was supposed to be posted on Monday, ended up in the drafts.

The weekdays were good. Hoping for a better weekend.

Till then, signing off.

2010-08-02T03:48:00.002+08:00

I had a little disappointment when a friend couldn't make it to come down last weekend. Let's hope this week it will happen.

Monday oh monday, not monday blues but a good day. I think it would be fun. Wait for my surprise! Haha~

Anyway, I should sleep. Yeah, I do some sleep. Oh well, good night!

2010-07-31T01:48:00.004+08:00

Something I posted on a friend's wall.

hey you! reading the Midnight sun. still stuck in chapter one. =.=

her: hey stupid! so slow. buck up man!

me: hey preettie! yeah, i'm slow. been stoning too much.

her: stop sniffing glue.

me: can i have a durian cake, please?

her: no. go make urself.

me: stingy! queue for the iphone4, please.

her: Shut up

me: so, did you get it?

There's another SMS.

me: "Hey, your convo is on Sunday right?"

her: "Monday le! :-! How can you forget!"

LOL!

2010-07-29T03:49:00.002+08:00

That just makes me wonder, rumors?

So be it, then. I can't change anything of now or back then.

Ahh, I might as well assume nothing. The power of mind. =.=

Can't wait for Saturday. Hopefully it will be a fun fun day!

Nights!

Take note: Don't say "Weh, chill me!!" in front of me. Don't mention it. It does sounds wrong. =.=

2010-07-23T03:41:00.002+08:00

I was watching my nephew playing with his toys. Banging it or throwing it. Whatever he does, there's the mess that he would create. I love watching him playing by himself. Trying to bite the toys he has or its either yelling all the way.

That little boy it is just fun to watch. *smiles*

It reminded me as a kid growing up, it was pretty rough and fun. I climb trees, dig for worms or even make a newspaper kite for fun. I wonder if I ever gonna teach some fun into him. That little fella needs that, I suppose.

Oh well, time flies. Soon, he's gonna be talking. I got the feeling he will ask lots of questions. Haha!

Anyway, have a good weekend ahead. Night.

2010-07-19T01:50:00.002+08:00

Fun day it was. 6 hours of futsal-ing is what I needed. And I got a swollen big toe. :(

Anyway, the supper-craving-eating-gang was just awesome. I think the owner would get sicked of our 3 faces appearing almost everyday. LOL!

Looking forward to another fun week. Hope my little toe heal fast. I need to walk properly to be a-another-might-tour-guide for the weekend. :D

Have fun.

2010-07-13T01:42:00.002+08:00

Today (or rather yesterday) was fun. The jobless two persons Allan and Yee Chien and I went to watch Twilight:Eclipse. I would say it wasn't the nicest of the 3 series so far but I did understand the way the producer was trying to portrait. I feel New Moon was better in terms of action and excitement.

Funny thing about world cup season is that you will get your bedtime all screw up. I had a fair share of that. If not, I'd be zombie walking the entire day. Haha!

I see myself in a dream trying my best to avoid you but ended holding hands. =.= I thought of it the whole day. It doesn't really make sense. Not to me. Trying to figure the details of that dream still. I wonder what was the meaning behind of it.

Anyway, it is time for me to wrap up and sleep. Much in need of sleep. Have a nice week ahead. :)

2010-07-11T01:39:00.002+08:00

The past few days were a little tired. I couldn't get a proper sleep due to some dreams. After that, it went away. And today I got up with my upper shoulder back ached. While playing for service, my left hand cramped. =.=

Signs of old ages. Not to say, I think I sprained by left wrist.

That did not stop me from playing/looping this song from Starfield - Hiding Place. After hearing it over and over again, I felt encouraged. Right now as I blog, the song is being played. Google it on you-tube. : )

I find the entire week I was thinking too much. Drained. Needed something to boost me up. Then came the song. It just changes everything around.

I too find myself tabbing the song. Playing as well as singing that song there was peace. The joy that wrapped around me was just moment-less.

And it has been awhile since I last blogged something cheerful or happy. I know most of my posts lately were depressing and pain. It is time for me to stop wining about sad stuffs. I want to blog something useful and I hope it can help you too.

Dear Lord, you're my hiding place. Amen!

2010-07-06T13:02:00.001+08:00

Why the sudden dream you were telling me your dad took your car away to cut cost? I just don't wanna dream about you anymore. Can you please STOP??!!

I'm sick of having dreams with you. I want others. CAN I?

2010-07-04T02:16:00.002+08:00

Love, faith & hope. I have faith but I don't feel like hoping anymore. I do love but is it enough for me to love again?

As days passes by, it changes the way I think and see. I don't feel like I want to put hope into a particular person anymore. I'm tired. I feel so dead when I see dead ends. And I am not sure whether I could love a person the way I loved you.

I wish I could just sleep without any tears. It still hurts. I just hope it will still hurts to teach me a lesson here.

As I end here, I just don't know what else to do besides staying away from you. Bye.

2010-07-01T02:00:00.002+08:00

Crazy-ass-days. I think I should be flying on a airplane. LOL!

I know I'm crapping stupid stuffs. Well, let's see how well I can make it to be nice.

It's 2.02am now, I should be in bed soon. Have to send my sister to work later. I hope I don't zombie drive. Haha!

One hidden truth, I am worried about the future. Not the present. I just don't know why I feel that way. Weird though. I never been this worried before.

Sometimes I don't want myself to be happy. It may sound like I'm a ungrateful-bitch but I just feel that way. Emotions tend to overwrite me a lot. It's either I be numb or dumb.

That being said, I feel like I'm a person with a secret mission. Going on somewhere fighting up loose ends and being something which I don't like. Those are the days when you feel like doing a 360 flip over and over again. Well, I only can say that.

Ahhh, I should stop. I wonders me the things I deserve entirely. I rather sometimes try not to use 'deserve' but sometimes it has to be used in some way. What sucks is I think I don't want to have the second chance given to me. I rather have nothing but to gain something. I feel that way now and I hope it can stay that way for a long long time.

My absence for as long as possible is good for you. I am willing to sacrifice on to not being able to see you again but I just hope it is worth doing it. It doesn't matter if what works for us later, I'd rather keep my radar low from you. If I don't do this, it would be just as stupid as a pig. At least pig these days are smarter than you think.

Happy belated birthday from me. Good night.

2010-06-30T13:18:00.001+08:00

It's getting weirder. The weirdest it seems. I need to stop all this, can I? I wonder why too..

2010-06-28T01:26:00.003+08:00

It is definitely scary when someone you love just totally ignores you like a total stranger and then gives you the cold treatment. I immediately woke up after dreaming that. And I told myself not to get stuck on that dream. Plus, it was her birthday.

Today was fun. A little tired. But, I'll be fine.

I find it weird now between 2.0 and I. We both tend to message each other almost everyday and I mean, each chat conversation is fun and honest. And sometimes it can get a little bit cheeky.

I find it different from the other conversations. Not too sure it is because of the barrier, but yeah, I do actually think it is like those one of the kind of conversations that you have with this person that just it just clicks!

Well, should be in bed now. Not going to watch the other match later.

Night!

2010-06-25T02:00:00.002+08:00

I've decided to just chill back for the next few days. There's no special event going on but only some celebration over my home-grown-church-anniversary at the weekend.

Actually, I've thought of sending that dress but I don't think it will be in much of use by you. I definitely suck at fulfilling promises. Tend to break them all the time. That's me though. I just hope I could change something in me to not to break promises again. Not for now, I guess. Later..

I caught myself in two persons lately. I see it as the past and present (maybe the future). I am not going to make a big fuss over it. Neither a small fuss. I'd rather leave it as it is/was.

As I drove back from class today, I felt there was something missing. Then I thought, I was in the singing mood. Sang all the way back home but the missing feeling tells me I should be grateful. And then I thought of 2.0.

Seriously, right now whatever I'm doing it is for myself. At least, I deserve the tiniest of fairness throwing at me.

I regain of what I need, there's no need to argue of it anymore. Only what molds me changes me by Him.

2010-06-10T02:51:00.002+08:00

My thoughts are reeling away from consciousness. If I do talk crap here, bare in my mind I'm feeling random.

Friends around me are getting into relationships. I am happy for them, of course. And I might or will give one or two of advise. Despite the surroundings that I'm having right now, I feel like I want to have a relationship. The point is, who? Who do I actually like now? My ex-gf? Maybe her or 2.o version. Don't think that I'm desperate for one but I'm just merely saying. I am cool being a single guy. There's only me and no one -besides my family and friends la.

Well, I need to keep myself on track. My studies were affected the last time I was in a relationship. That I have only myself to blame. Somehow, I don't feel I need one now. I don't make myself feel that I have to find one or make a girl fall in love with me to just to be in a relationship for don't know how long it will last. I don't feel the assurance of having a girlfriend myself. I just don't, at least for now. Time will change some perception of mine. Let's see, shall we?

If you ask what would I want for a girl, I'll be honest, I don't really know. I did thought of that back then as in 4 years ago I think. And I don't remember what I really want from a girl in the relationship. Saying the 3 words it's not something I use daily. I just feel reluctant to speak that in confidence anymore.

Some days I'd just feel so numb. I wish I could be doing that all the time but life isn't supposed to be like that. Yeah, part of life I guess.

Oh well, focusing on myself is the best I could do. "Make yourself proud, others would feel it too! - Unknown."

FYI, I have the habit that my father has that is = self-talking. Mine gets more worse. Lol!

Anyway, should sleep. Looking forward for the weekend and the next two weeks. :D

2010-06-07T21:15:00.005+08:00

While I was watching Prince of Persia today, there was this one person that kept me thinking about her. I don't even know what is wrong with me. Damn! Falling in love ain't going to be easy for me anymore. After what I've gone through over the past year or so, I don't think I'll have the courage to do that again.

But how much that I like of you, it just brings me to a stop. The border.

I might give you all the hints and clues. I might be there for you when you're down or sad. One thing, I will certainly be loving the way you are. I like that 'you' now. I wish I found you earlier, like for real.

What's stopping me is the fear of loving someone again. I learned from the hard way and there is no such thing as an easy way to love a person. Besides that, lots of thoughts like your future -where do you see yourself doing, your career, your interest and all keeps over-flowing my mind daily ever since. What I want for you is for you to fulfill all the wants in your list. I think with that, I want to be there for you -to help you -to support you. That is what I want to do. Definitely, you're my number one priority. : )

And one thing I do know time will change the way I see things. The mentality, the perception, the thoughts that counts and also the way of accepting it as a whole new thing will only break that fear of mine. The first step is to be open to you. Tipsy or not, that is just you.

It might sounds crazy but it's worth a try. Till then...

2010-06-06T02:33:00.003+08:00

I thought I could knock off early tonight but I just couldn't. I guess I'm used to being a-stay-up-late-sleeper-again. One thing I do notice each time before I sleep to rest, my mind would always be so awake till I have to self-talk to myself to sleep. Insomnia or not, it's been like that more than a year plus now.

Something came up my mind earlier today, or maybe last night. A thought which I don't really know what to do about it if I ever want it to happen. It may sounds like a year too late or something, that I really wouldn't care. But what I care is the efforts. The down side of it, I could just leave it to be just a thought. Whether or not will I be expecting the appreciation or a phone call, I do not want to even think of it if I really want this plan of thought to work.

It's a simple plan. And I don't really know what to do with that dress I bought. Hmmm?!

Anyway, I've been thinking of the 2.0 version. Friends right now is good. More than that? I don't even know yet. Yet you're immune to me. I don't even know what to do with that? Being tipsy telling me some eye opener stuffs makes me want to just draw the border between just friends and a couple. Really, like seriously serious.

Basically, I'm caught between two persons. I wish I could just do nothing to it but I don't want to. Last I checked when I did nothing, it did not turned out well. Then when I finally did nothing, it also became worse. =.=

Gah! I'm a bum. Funny, I keep A that I've been bumming everywhere. Lol!

Practically starring at the screen figuring out next about some question being asked. Not from me but for me. I should have done that before that happened. That gives an intention of what may come from me. At least, I don't keep her waiting. Best not too. : )

Almost here - The Academy Is #nowplaying.

Have a good week ahead. Cheers!

2010-06-03T02:44:00.002+08:00

I am so hooked onto this song right now. Vanilla twilight by Owl City. Ahhh~~

Anyway, I've been having odd dreams which I feel I was so part of it. I couldn't remember what was it exactly but it's so weird till I don't even know what is weird again. You know, that kind of feeling.

Oh well.. :D :D

Have a good night. FYI, I know this post is kind of like weird too. :p

2010-06-01T02:41:00.003+08:00

Gah. I feeling gah-ing right now with no apparent reason. Gahhhh!

Sometimes, it's better than to 'gah' than to not to 'gah' in moments where you're sad or happy. Once in awhile, I bah. Bah!!!

Somehow it helps me to relax by doing that. I do not know how much it will do to me but I'm sure it has started to calm me down just a little bit. Small differences are huge to me. In some way, it tells me to 'Hey, let's do it.'

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot on certain things. It's like 'What should I do?' or 'Should it ever happens?' None of that right now seems to make any sense to me. I wish I could figure out some way to actually answer those questions. Maybe I've been wishing too much. That could be the problem.

Well, I will leave it be for the moment.

Gah, I should stop.

2010-05-29T15:29:00.001+08:00

I just wish you could see the bigger picture. Yeah, don't get me worried.

I do know things are happening as I speak. And yeah, get your facts right please.

2010-05-21T03:20:00.002+08:00

Sometimes in life, when it sucks it will be very sucky. Sometimes in life, when there's happiness you'll be happy. That's life. Tonight it reminded me that life can be a pain in the ass and it reminded of how life can be so beautiful when things just come into places. The pieces that I would collect would be both, the good and the bad. Why? Why not just only the good?

If only in this world has only good deeds, then why are we reading on newspapers about crimes? What am I trying to say is, bad things do happen whether or not you're a good person or a lousy person. Regardless of that, I see it as some thing to gain in the future from having to make a wrong mistake or a bad judgment. It may sounds horrible but it is for the better good.

I'd like to make mistake along my life than to just to play safe all the time. Then, what is the point of having a life? (I'm not talking about suicide) Life without problems -might as well you be a god.

From time to time, a reminder would help me to progress life in such a way I know what is right and I know what is right to make the wrong decisions. At the end of the day, only I will suffer the consequences. To me, it is part of life. Life without consequences doesn't make any sense at all. Then I would ask what is it I am here for on earth? Those types of questions.

Anyway, the internet has a pretty cool way to find things out. Aren't it? I wish I could tell you about something but I'd rather keep it and not tell. Oh well, it is scary to let someone to find out something over the internet. The truth can be found in just everywhere of the corner.

So, up for it? I know it's a random line.

Can't wait for fringe. Ahhh!!

2010-05-17T00:37:00.002+08:00

"If you can’t get someone off your mind, it is because he/she is supposed to be there. (a fact) by TLS." Something that I follow on twitter.

That fact strikes me for a little while before I could actually think on why kept on thinking of that particular person the entire day. I'll be honest, it's been a few days now. I wonder why would I be thinking of that person. I asked myself is it because I want to start something new in my life or is it because I saw something in that person that has the characters or qualities to be actually spending my life with.

I almost got myself confused by asking all the weirdest questions.

Change of topic. I find myself to be honest in some parts of me. I thought it wasn't the me I wanted but maybe it is for the better good.

On the other note, is 6 years long enough in a relationship? I mean, a friend of mine just celebrated their 6th anniversary together and to the years to come. I went "Wow!!" I wonder how is it like to be a in long-committed-not-easy-relationship-since-high-school-till-present-day.

That caught my attention for awhile. Off to some good music. Have a good week ahead. :D

2010-05-15T02:03:00.002+08:00

It was a slow and long and fun day I had on Friday. Dropped by KL to meet a friend. She has curves!! whoa~~ :D

Anyway, I'm kinda stoning right now. Couldn't get a nice sleep last night. Even my short nap earlier was spoil by my nephew.

My brother drove at 160km/p and I didn't feel any of the speed. I guess I'm used to that type of fast speeds back then and now. Awesome!

Alright, gonna stop right here. Off to bed. Night!

2010-05-08T02:07:00.002+08:00

Somehow I feel I had a pretty nice day. Somewhat, keeping some positive thoughts can be good for you. The funny thing is, I don't feel tired. Weird.

Anyway, as days come I find some people interesting. Maybe it is just me. Oh well, at least its keeps the curiosity going. Wouldn't want to name who and who. And it doesn't matter whether they reads this.

I just noticed the FB chat box can be so inaccurate. In the sense where it shows the person online (green) and then the next minute idle. =.= Or it could be the cut-slow connection that I have over here. Hmmmm..

I am still thinking on how to celebrate Mother's day. I want it simple and memorable. *thinks*

It is kinda late now. Need some rest. Good night!

2010-05-07T03:00:00.002+08:00

They say, the truth hurts and lies hurts more. And it does sets you free from it. Come to think of it, yeah, honesty can make or break something. Well, this just crossed my mind. Feel like writing it down somewhere.

Oh sunrise, my sunrise. I used to like the feeling watching sunrise to start a day. It just feels everything would come into place and be there. Wonder how it is like these days?

I don't know whether or not I will publish this post up. If I do, I hope you don't feel bored. Because I don't have any ideas to blog on some nice topics.

Anyway, just out of curiosity. Can a girl be a jerk? I mean in general la. What do you think?

I'm trying to refrain myself to use the 'b*****' word for some reasons.

Alright, I don't know what to write now. See ya!

2010-05-06T03:01:00.002+08:00

We speak in different voices - Voices by Saosin. The first line of the chorus of that song. It reminds me of the community we live in, there are different peoples in different ethnics and also different in religions.

But it reminds me more of something which is my differences that I have on a particular subject. It doesn't matter if I write in down here.

What am I trying to say here is sometimes it is good to have something that reminds you of something. May it be the little small things in life that makes you want to be grateful and thankful.

Or sometimes the mistake we made in the past. It is good to have them once in awhile to be reminded that things cannot be taken lightly.

On the other note, I was thinking about wedding photography in which I am interested in. I have to learn from the best of the best. Although it is not my strength in photography, it can be pretty awesome to master that skill. Wow! I am pretty excited about it.

:D :D

Till then..

funny random

2010-05-03T01:39:00.002+08:00

I thought I was late for church today. Wanted to go but then my phone died. So, I went to my room clock and saw it was 10.15am. The next thing that came into my mind was is my dad's car outside the house? Guess what? It wasn't there! I went =.=

Then I decided to go back to sleep. I dreamt something so funny I wish I could actually tell you about it now. Sorry, it is now all blurry to me. It was extremely hilarious, I tell you. It's like through out the whole dream everyone was like joking all the way. Like non-stop! :D :D

Got up and had lunch. After lunch, I felt bored. So I went for a afternoon nap. Yeah, I know. I'm a piggy. Well~~

Again, I dreamt something. This time it was WEIRD! It was so odd I thought it was actually happening. But then, it didn't. Pheww!

My Sunday was okay. Well, at least I know Man Utd gonna hope that Chelsea draws the final game next week. *finger crossed*

I know it is a random post. Well, it was meant to be random. :D

2010-04-27T00:04:00.004+08:00

Well, when you are sick you might or will get the worse feeling ever. Right? To me, I felt that there was no life in me. It was like something had drained out the soul of me. But then, I stumbled on this song by Switchfoot - New way to be a Human, it totally changes everything. I felt alive once again although I am still half sick.

The power of music it is just awesome. If you have some talent in playing any instrument, go ahead and maximize it! Haha!

I have decided to make this post short. Just hope I recover soon so that I could kick some balls yall!! Whee~ :D

Patience?

2010-04-22T02:17:00.004+08:00

A random guy told me that I had patience. I was so surprised but I knew it was a compliment. He said that I am a good person and also to believe that I am one. It caught me for a moment. And he also convinced me to trust that I am a good person with patience. Yet, it made me wonder ever if I was or still is that person.

The past relationship I had as I see it, it did not turned out well due to of I was impatience and rough. One time back during the relationship, I remembered a friend told me that patience was my main character, my strongest personality that I have in which he saw in me. But still, I was reckless and the relationship I had went sour and bad.

I know God uses all kind of people to encourage you or to tell you something. I think it was from God whom used that guy to tell me such detail stuffs which I think I still be able to develop further.

Lately, I felt weary and tired. Both physically and mentally although I have enough rest everyday. The point is, I know there are some big challenges ahead in the few months time and I really need a confident boost to help me through some difficult stages which I feel I would get lost sometimes. I'm worried that I would get sidetracked a lot and be less patient and I think more things might happen badly. It is just my mind doing some tricks on predicting. Sigh~

To be honest, I stopped believing that I have patience anymore. It is hard to gain back something that I've lost almost a year ago or more. I am not trying to say I am still in the past but just to fill in to you guys here on what is on my mind right now. I am looking forward for the upcoming weeks which I think it will be pretty exciting.

I do know some things is way out of my understanding which I think the only way is to accept it as it is. A good person with patience? After all, I got nothing to lose.

Anyway, have a good weekend ahead. :D

2010-04-15T02:38:00.002+08:00

Oh well, when you fall the only way is to rise up. That is what I am doing right now. I wish somethings would actually be simpler.

Oh well, I think I can do it. Been there before. Gonna be wise this time around. Will see.

Oh well, differences and differences. It is the way it is. Hmmm..

Oh well, good night.

Different?

2010-04-13T02:04:00.004+08:00

I got to see something different today. Something that I could only understand and which I'll tell it later. :p

Anyway, I just feel blessed today. Although my sister out of no where started getting pissed which kinda up sad me a little but soon, I got over it. Maybe I am experiencing some moments where it happens and it is a good feeling. A thought of it was just so calming and fresh. And it also tells me to no take things for granted again. Doable but tough. I have the strength that is above all else, thank you Lord.

But then again, oh well..

A friend keep telling me that I am a complicated person. I actually went "WHAT?!". It was true. The truth is I like to keep things simple. In nature, I don't like complicated stuffs. But when you're in a relationship with a complicated person, things makes a turn. Don't blame the person, and I never did. I just couldn't stop making things complicated what more even worse. Oh well..

I wish I want that mentality back when I was 13. I don't think it works 10 years later. We do grow up fast says my mom.

Long day tomorrow. Maybe even darker skin tone. Haha!

:) :)

What can I do?

2010-04-11T22:54:00.003+08:00

What will you do when out of the blue, you see or hear something which is so unpleasant you feel like throwing up? I do.. I just did. I mean I didn't vomit or something.

I would take whatever it is I heard and accept without changing it and give it back to where ever it came from. I just feel sick of it. I don't know whether it is just me or am I that sensitive only to that matter?

Oh well, life has to go on.

So, what have you done today? Nothing much from me. Maybe it was just a Sunday.

I just hope I don't get bad dreams again. It is just scary.

Anyway, got to go.

Fun and sad.

2010-04-11T00:39:00.002+08:00

Fun times aren't just over yet. I bet there are still more to come. Ever you think that you would want so much fun and yet you don't want any sad/bad news to come around? I wish that could actually happen but I think for now, I'm okay with some sad stuffs going on.

Anyway, throughout the entire week it was great I'd say. The fun, the enjoyment, the happiness that has happened every single day since Sunday was totally indescribable. Having to spent some quality time with some friends and you was extremely worth doing it again. Too bad, I didn't take any pictures. If not, I'd be posting up some photos for you all, the readers out there who still reads this blog. Haha~

Have you had this feeling where you knew what next would actually happen? I've been having that feeling for a couple of days now. Maybe my imagination running wild again. Oh well..

I missed blog hoping/jumping. I love reading friend's blog talking about life or rather anything they write there. I feel I am so into their lives or something. I think it is just only me who thinks that way. Weird? Maybe I am a weirdo.

Can't wait for the coming Sunday next week. :) :)

Just to say to the people whom I am accountable to, I am doing just fine. I know you guys are still worried about me doing some more drastic stuffs which I think it is enough for now. Worrying is hard, I know. Please, I know you guys are concerned so help me to help you to let me do whatever I think that makes me grow a better person without any restriction. I'm old enough to be mature. No worries for you all and I am not going to prove that I've changed or something, I would like to see something change for me which makes me to be a good person changed for the better.

Alrights, stop here. Shall continue updating more fun to come.

:D

Por..

2010-03-17T14:32:00.000+08:00

2010-03-05T15:09:00.002+08:00

Pictures has more words than me. Through the eyes of Joy~

2010-03-02T15:04:00.003+08:00

It has been quite some time since I beautifully colored my blog with pictures. Here are some to ponder about. :)

2010-02-04T02:04:00.002+08:00

What do you know when you got hooked to something? For me, when I'm hooked onto something definitely I'll repeat it over and over again. Regardless what it is and I don't think it can be a addiction.

Anyway, I didn't notice much white hairs are growing on my head. My sister was like "You sit here everyday do pretty much nothing but you're stressing in whatever you're stressing la." I guess whenever one stresses whether or not they're doing something or nothing I can safely say everyone stress.

No biggie for me if I stressed too much. I think it is normal to stress. Part of life.

Besides, life is full of surprises. I welcome more of it in coming months. Let's see how surprising it can be. *excited*

I'm getting LOST!! If you do know what I mean.. :p

Cheers people!

2010-01-25T03:01:00.002+08:00

You know when you're just being yourselves and then something just strikes with facts and truths. Ever in your life you got that kind of thing? Certainly to me it happened to me today.

I remembered when I've lost all my patience and I thought I could just want to fix my broken relationship with Ann Na, I knew I had to wait till that day comes. And then, without having to wait till that day comes I've made a mistake again. I thought fixing it now could actually saves some dignity for both of us but it didn't happen. Ended up with more heavier consequences to face.

As I was watching Fireproof -a christian production movie it suddenly came clear. In the movie, a broken marriage was mended by a Love Dare of 40 days of going through heartache and trials. It came to me that Jesus fasted for 40 days and I became curious of how a 40 days love dare thingy could actually save a marriage. I gave it some thoughts and suddenly from 40 days it got to 40 weeks.

The more I think the more it became apparent to me. Then a little voice saying to wait for 40 weeks till I can mend my relationship with her. During these 40 weeks, I'll have to go through trials and temptations. It was like in the movie. The first 20 days was so hard for the man to deal with but he persevered with the help of his father and continued the remaining days to be succeeded in the end.

It has been 7 months or so already, the first 5 months was really difficult for me and her. Being away from each other this long was like drowning in the sea for 2o seconds before being saved by someone. I know forgetting her will be hard for me. I thought maybe, just maybe if I could forget her things would turn better for me but it did not turned out to be as well as I thought it would be. I'm stuck here seeking for answers and growing to be a fine man. Maybe this is/was what I need to go through.

3 months left to the 40th week to come. I don't really know what would actually happen then but I hope and hoping it would be the D-day. Nothing much can I do about it but to be strong.

I saw things that will happen and coming to past. It may be illogical and I still want to believe it. Believe it or not, I've already seen this coming. 'This' as in the 10 months. Let's see whether it will come to past or not. Till then..

2010-01-22T04:12:00.002+08:00

Desperation reminded me of what I was the last time. But this desperation got me into a wrong path. I may not remember the juicy details of it but I know to feel what is like being at that state of desperation.

I tend to forget some feelings of going through a normal life. To me, forgetting that makes me move along faster and better. I've learned over the years to put feelings aside and let my brain do the job. You know what? It isn't/wasn't that bad after all. At least, it worked for me.

Right now, I am trying to avoid feelings being felt. It's like watching Chuck and Sarah avoiding their feelings for each other to be strictly professional in order to make the world a safer place. And if you do watch Chuck the series, you'd know what I'm talking about. Hehe!

It is difficult to hide feelings but it is good that it can be kept in a good way to make through a day. Each day is some what a new feeling comes, in which I think it is good. And feelings need to be controlled. Over emotionally exposed may bring one into a state of desperation - according to my theory. :p

Anyway, it is a Friday and it should be fun. Anyone watched Legion yet? Sounds interesting to watch. And have a nice weekend ahead. Cheers!

2010-01-15T00:47:00.002+08:00

I thought I blogged something a few days ago and I found out that I actually didn't blog. So silly of me. Haha!

Anyways, just for the sake of updating nothing much is going on right now. Although, I am seeing some changes being made. Good progress.

I never thought I could find such charming personality these days. People are just being nice. Some are bad. Some are rude and some are just there. I find it interesting when rich boys doesn't have much friends. I'm not judging them but I just find it attractive, I mean them la.

And, I may or maybe be finding myself focus on someone. Nah, I'm not gonna spill the beans. For now, I keep it to myself. :p

At least it is a good distraction for me. :D

2010

2010-01-03T04:40:00.002+08:00

3rd day of the new year, 2010. What do I want to achieve? Have I set some resolution to follow? What is it that I really want to see success come?

It is nice to questioned yourselves to push and grow in everything aspects of your lives. And it is also good to access each of them on what you'd learned.

Mine is very simple. Consistency. I'm fine with whatever I have right now. All it needs is something to be put on and push it hard.

Mom said 2009 was a terrible year for our family and she continued saying that 2010 will be a victorious year for us as an individual and also as a household. I do believe this year is good. I believe this year is a year to be healed and to be reconciled. And this year would be a joyful year.

To be honest, I am still thinking of what to do with my life. Nothing interesting is going on. Yet I know being consistent on every aspect isn't going to be easy. And yes, I accept the challenge.

However, I do expect things to get unexpectedly happen at least. I do expect things will get better, not only for me but for everything.

Besides, I do not want to put expectations too high in which I do not want to see myself struggling to reach/achieve. And also not to jump into conclusion easily.

Nothing is easy. Nothing is simple too. Have a good year ahead. :)

2009-12-21T02:13:00.002+08:00

You know when you have doubts, everything tends to get fussy? I had that the last couple of days. From one after the other, I was still having doubts.

Later today in the evening, suddenly everything just gets so clear. It was like having an eye drop on your eyes. And I feel everything was being answered as if there was sort of confirmation going on. Then the doubts just fades away.

And yeah, it was a pleasant feeling. Something to hope for. At least, for me.

I had the most weirdness awesome dream last night. I could imagine what it would be like if it turned into reality. In the dream, I was looking for something or someone. Along the way, I gathered information that leads to the something I was looking for. Awesome, isn't it? But then, it got ugly a little bit at the end. No harm done.

Anyway, it was a little more productive day for me. Seriously, it is good to do something.

Okays, I shall stop here. Got nothing more to blog about. Good night, yall!!

2009-12-19T01:00:00.002+08:00

I know this time of the year around would be the season of giving. I know Christmas is just around the corner. And I feel the mood of rock & roll instead the season of giving. I think I have a problem or two. Really, coming into this month I don't have the mood of celebrating Christmas.

You may ask why am I not in the spirit of Christmas. I might answer, I feel very casual about this since last year. I remembered I sleep a lot during that time. Maybe it is just only me.

Or I have other things on my mind. I think Paramore is on my mind. And Saosins too~~

Anyway, the weekend should be a normal one. Nothing special is coming up, I guess.

Other than that, I am here to just to post something. :)

Have a good weekend. Cheers!

Regrets, emo!

2009-12-09T23:58:00.002+08:00

What fills my mind now is all about regrets and emotions. Although a couple of months has past, I am still not able to stop myself or blame myself for what I've done. I know hard times isn't over yet. It will be a long time before things could start to heal itself.

I remembered saying I wanted things to get settled now but the more I want it the more I'll start to lose myself. This brings me to waiting. I have to wait till the day comes which I do not know how long or when.

Despite what feelings I am going through right now, I know, only this way will help to hurt less. Only this way will keep the love going indirectly. And only this way I'll know what to say or do.

I do know my future is in Your hands. I need patience to see me through the next few weeks or months. How different will next year be, I do not know yet. But I do know one thing, I have faith.

Faith + hope + love.

Talking back again?

2009-12-05T02:02:00.003+08:00

What would you do if you meet someone whom you shared your life with after so many months of not contacting? What would you say to him/her?

Do you give a smile? Or a hug even? Or making him/her invisible as it were? Or do you put down your prides and say "Hi!!" to him/her?

I am not writing some emo post here. This has been on my mind since the last few nights. Actually, it has been more like months but then I decided to put this on hold. Now, what else do you do if you know do that him/her is coming to a event where you are going to also?

To be honest, I do not want trouble by just doing something behind though I know I am not allowed to do so. Hard enough? More difficult than ever. And I do not know whether this is what I call talking back again works in these kind of conditions.

Yes, I'm confused as well. Emotionally as well.

One and only thing I can do is to keep a open mind. Will it helps? Only when that day comes, I'll know.

Is there anything else?

2009-12-03T03:06:00.002+08:00

Ever you had this awesome feeling that things would go well and only you would know it will go well because it will? Ever you had the opposite feeling of awesome?

For me, I have felt that before both of those feelings. I had this worse feeling that tells me that something bad would happen especially something specific in a particular matter. That was almost a year ago. I wouldn't say it did not happen but it actually did happened. I know this could be less logical but it explains what I really need to do in order for me to prepare it to go through. I knew I couldn't avoid it because I know back then it was real.

I realized this when this upcoming event which I am gonna attend reminded me of that feeling. The horrible feeling. I remembered I was fighting with it and telling it it was just in my imagination. Maybe I was a little tired when I felt it. And it hit me so bad that it causes pain which was unintended for others to feel.

I got this habit ignoring feelings which turns out to be truth. Maybe I should pay more attention to it in the future.

However, I got this feeling that next year would be a great year. Not just only a great one, but it is more a successful and fruitful year in 20++ days to next year.

I know it may be a post for a sake of writing a post. But to me this time, I am taking this feeling for real.

I met a friend earlier. She said I looked much much better the last few months when she came to see me. It says a lot and it encourages me to be much much better in the near future.

Say me stupid. I wouldn't care less because I know it will be a great feeling to achieve. :)

Post thanksgiving

2009-11-27T02:20:00.003+08:00

What have I been grateful of this past few months or a year ago? Well, I know Thanksgiving day is over and I am thankful to be right here.

I am thankful to have a bunch of people who supported me although I kind of alienated them for a short period and still they were there.

I am thankful to be learning something everyday though it seems I don't do much each day.

I am thankful during the tough times, I did not go wild. Well, there were parts where I almost gone super wild.

I am thankful to be having a good day ahead of me though I am still awake.

Besides, I am thankful though things weren't getting my way and I know it has to sometimes not go my way.

I am still figuring out what is the best thing to do for myself. I know there are many options for me to choose from. All of them are good. Maybe I should start choosing one and see how it goes.

Honestly, I don't expect much from all these. Equally, I do expecting the unexpected.

So, are you being thankful for the sad or happy days you had? Have a thought. :)

2009-11-23T03:53:00.002+08:00

Things will come and things will go as well. I don't really know what exactly I'm gonna do but I have already know a thing or two for me to do. Sometimes things are there for you to do. Take it as it is and appreciate it. I would actually take that approach. No harm done.

I just wrote a story. It was about my experience I had that leads to prom night. It was good. It was fun and it was something I'll treasure the rest of my life.

At church, the preacher said believing is a powerful thing because when we believe that's where it happens. I believe new things will come. I believe something big is gonna happen.

After service, Uncle Walson was talking about God's dreams which God has for you will actually bring you success than you own dreams. I find it real and truth.

Anyways, it will be a good few weeks ahead. I can sense it. :)

2009-11-17T02:13:00.003+08:00

Ever you get something fake in your life? I do. I mean I do get it a lot from people. Oh well, we live in a complicated world.

I was doing some series reruns on Chuck. I don't remember watching this particular episode. It seems very new to me. It was an interesting episode indeed. I guess everyone would want to live in their own fantasy world. But in reality we don't get that.

Anyways, welcoming Tuesday is a good thing. I always find my Tuesday long and busy. Maybe if I can put it as I like the way my Tuesday does. It's awesome!

All is good for now. At least I know.

5 months.

2009-11-16T03:00:00.003+08:00

Today is Monday. It is a working day for most of us. Just hope the monday blues doesn't blues out. :p

I'll keep this post short. Have you tried counting something? As in literally counting. With numbers, of course. Yeah, I've been doing that for awhile. Maybe numbers and I got something in common. Lol!!

Anyways, traveling around the world sounds fun. Up for it?

150days++. ++ = increment. Some sort of counter if I can put it that way.

:-)

2009-11-13T03:48:00.002+08:00

Bad things is just something bad that might/will happen to us. I mean some of us. I remembered when I got robbed. Although my parents thought it was my fault but they were wrong. It happened and the next thing I knew was all of my cash were gone. Why back then when I asked God, all I got was to fear Him more. Trust Him and He will do the rest, including your safety.

And when it was my turn that I've done something bad, I know it was my fault. I asked God why again. He said fear Him.

When we trust in God; when we put our faith in Him, everything will turn out well.

What I learned from all this is even when disaster strikes; when God choose to allow it to happen and in the end whatever the outcome is, we must put our trust in God to allow Him to make it right again for us. Of course in the process, we'll get hurt and emotional. Do not let them in because Satan is there when we fall. No matter how difficult it may be, trust in Him always.

2Co 4:9 -persecuted but not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed.

After watching 2012, I know it was just a movie. The world doesn't end like that. I mean only God knows how/when it will happen. To me it was like the modern Noah's ark though it was all dramatic to make the whole show interesting. (got side track a bit.. hehe..)

The best solution is to rely on God and trust Him. You'd actually be surprised of how well it might turn out. :)

2009-11-09T03:18:00.003+08:00

Back to the training ground again for Man Utd players. I can accept the defeat but the controversial free-kick leading to the only goal of the game was what I disagreed. To be fair, a strong and good challenge by Darren Flecther on Ashley Cole to the disliked of the referee, gave Chelsea a good position to put quality balls on set pieces.

5 points with the gap between the first and second. The season is still ongoing long. And yet, the month of December is just next month where fixtures are many. This is where teams drop points. Surprise surprise if Chelsea do drop couple of points. I am just saying.. :p

Oh well.. Let's wait for the return fixture at Old Trafford. *early fingers crossed*

I hope the Red Devils don't get monday Blues.

Anyways, off to bed.

3 milestones.

2009-11-04T01:48:00.002+08:00

What is more to figure, yourself or others? Just some random thoughts comes into my mind every now and then. Here's another one, what if putting aside ego/pride makes matters go wanders? :)

Lately, things have been a little slow. Maybe it has got to do with the weather. I could just sleep the day off because it is just so chilling. "When it rains.."

I did some self-explaining thingy also. It's like practicing for public speaking. Ta de da ta de da..

300th doesn't excites me. What would?

Does telling best friend and god-sister works? I mean both as one. I'd prefer close friend though. It's fine with me. Kinda works both ways.

Seriously, I think I stop here.

2009-11-02T00:38:00.003+08:00

I was away during the weekend. Off I went to AAR concert. This trip, I walked alot, I standing alot and I bend alot contributed to my lower back ache. Normally if I do stand too long, I'll get back pain -especially my lower back. Ouch it may seem, but it was worth going.

I didn't really expect that MANY people. It was way way hell of a lot of people there. Crazy!!!

Remind me to get/bring extra batteries just in case they (the organizers) decides to take your camera battery and leave your camera just with you. That got me stunned! If not, I'd have took lots of pictures. :p

The gang includes myself -Ashley, Claire and Eunice. A.C.E -reminds me of some tennis program in Astro. I know it sounds girly but it is not as girly as you may think. How I wish I was a girl. LOL!!! That makes more sense. Hehe..

Managed to take some piccies outside. Just a few. :(

Human queue!!!

These were the pictures I took while queuing.

You can refer to Claire's blog. Here. She uploaded a few videos. Stream it and hear me sing. :p

And yeah, I bought their album. Original album, I mean. I don't remember when was the last time I bought an album originally. I wouldn't say that I'm a big fan of AAR but certainly I do like their music. Cheers!

It was fun and rocking. Some of people from the crowd can be very annoying and inconsiderate. Oh well, most of them were Malaysians. I saw bottles flying around. That is bad, isn't it?

Anyways, at least the whole night went to be itself. Only I get to figure it out. Whoaa~~

Option of choices!

2009-10-29T00:55:00.002+08:00

Ever you had something already planned out by others for you? Ever you get the feeling what has been planned for you might/will get you somewhere better, like ever better? You might ask about what about your own plans -isn't it supposed to be more suitable because you know what's best for yourself?

The above questions are worth to be considered. Of course, if things does goes your way, then I don't see why you plans wouldn't work. Sometimes you might get backfired. That is what is it, uh? Then what about the plans others have for you? Definitely you will not like how or what is being planned but it certainly makes a try worth doing. Unless those others are wicked people, you might get back-stabbed. Before you take the step, you need to see outcome of those plans for you. You'll experience new things and you might/will see things in a wider range. Or maybe deeper.

I suppose somehow there's a risk involved. Life is a try and error thingy. We fall and we rise. Simple as that. No matter how risky it may be, even if it fail you at least you come out with something than nothing.

I guess my own plans doesn't work right now. I know I have to take the other option which is the plans by others. I got the feeling it will turn out well. I know it will. :)

Liverpool.

2009-10-26T04:42:00.002+08:00

I guess accepting lost is a big thing. For example, the big game Liverpool vs Man Utd. Of course I'm a MU fan and losing to Liverpool who has lost 4 straight games before coming into this fixture-won it and I think they deserved it. They were more a consistent side. Showed the desire and character to face their rivals in which this case, MU. I'm not saying that MU played a poor game which they didn't. They wasn't on top of their game. Played a decent game. Although the game plan was to suck all the pressure and hit them with the counter attack.

Going forward wasn't really that good. Liverpool were better. But at the of the day, they won 2-0. To me, fair play to Liverpool because they did a very good job. Keeping United's forwards quiet and making themselves a havoc at the back-line of United's defense.

As I see a defeat, this doesn't mean everything turns bad or get worse. All they, MU-need is to pick themselves up and look forward to the next game.

I may not accept something that was totally ugly easy the last time but now accepting is part of life. We endure it. We live with it. And we go forward. It's quite simple. Though enduring can be a tough challenge, nevertheless, it brings us to another level of seeing things.

Through times of challenge, distractions are common. Keeping the focus is hard but it can be done. I found myself distracted by so many things the past few months. I know I had to get myself out of the mess and I think I'm doing it well. Bit by bit, things starts to happen. Results may differ and surprising. It is just what it is; I keep myself focus and I feel a lot better now.

I know I blog things which you guys don't understand. I plan to keep it that way. Because I know I talk to blogger. Isn't it blogs are for? Hehe.. :p

2009-10-25T02:44:00.002+08:00

It seems there is no progress. How can it be? That would be the first question asked. No doubt that it has been a long long holiday. Hmmm? Can you guess what it was?

That is what my mind goes through each day. Random thoughts. Random thinking. Everything randoms which is just like popping candies into your mouth.

To be excited or not I don't even know. That's clueless, if I can put it that way.

A friend gave me this verse Jeremiah-29:11; a couple years back where I was deciding what interest me the most in life. I had trouble sorting out. Mom showed me this verse. It came clear after a few days, I decided to do something outside my knowledge and ability. It went well at first till I screwed it up.

Now, the same situation occurs. Do I want to continue where I left off or start something new?

It has been bothering of me the past few months.

I think I deserved and accepted the way things are now. Nothing much can I really do about it but to find a route to something greater. "Maybe today is a great" on my twittie status.

Till then, good night peeps.

Just odd!

2009-10-21T01:51:00.002+08:00

Somehow my body feels like in some place. Not too sure where. Ever get this type of weirdness?? Your mind is here but your body ain't. Odd!!

Twitting can be fun.

And yeah, doing things alone can be fun too.

Holiday or a break or absense??

2009-10-19T02:32:00.002+08:00

If I do remember clearly and if I am not wrong, this is the last and final week of the semester break. New semester is in weeks time and I don't think I'm ready for it.

What I feel right now and the past few days or so, I am clueless. Maybe I've been missing lots of distortions to my ear. Really, I remembered when I was interviewed by DJ Megan about modern rocks -if I'm not wrong again; I explained the sound of distortion just calms the hell of me regardless how I feel. I do remember the best times were there, it was just there being able to do things with you just makes me feel so loved and worthy.

I came across this video posted by a friend on Facebook. The famous comedian Russell Peter was talking about women thinks every minute of the time even if its not related to them at all. Yeah, it got my attention for awhile as memories flashes back those days. Come to think of it, either I'm smiling or laughing at it. One thing I learnt about that was by answering 'nothing' may or may not be a good thing nor a bad thing but it'll always be the down fall when you say there is nothing when you're feeling troubled.

I wish right now I could just to my own things without any restriction. With that, I can never be my best or at best. I've proven it before. That was last time. Now it is way way different from the previous. Really, I don't see why or a way for me to be in this situation. It sucks, that I know.

That really is, uh??